... The Naturopath

I had decided that I was done taking Emmy to the family practice doctor we had been seeing after our last visit in July. She wasn't a bad or mean lady; we just didn't see eye to eye on a couple issues, and it would create the biggest ball of dread in my stomach before I would take Emmy to an appointment, knowing that I'd have to be on my A-game to defend my decisions.

Issue #1: Vaccinations
I'm not against them. It was just important for me to read the literature out there (my favorite being The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears), and make my own decisions about what was right for my child in regards to quantity and timing. I wanted someone less biased towards vaccinations to help me with the decision-making process. This was not that doctor.

Issue #2: Long and Lean Emmy
I needed someone to look at Emmy, not the chart in their hands to decide if she was a healthy little girl. Emmy eats. Emmy eats good things. (Emmy couldn't get enough brussel sprouts last night.) But her body directs her calories towards her height, not her weight. We don't really know why, except that maybe she did receive the best possible combination of Ryan and I's genes. Good for her!

So, finally ending the long mom slackage in this department, I took healthy Emmy to a naturopath on Tuesday, to see if this kind of doctor would be a better fit for my sensibilities. I really didn't know where a naturopath stood on vaccination issues, child development, etc. And so I found out!

Turns out that Dr. White doesn't typically see children for "well-child visits" since "childhood is not a disease, just like pregnancy's not a disease." Word! If your kid's sick or you have questions, you can give her a call. She said she didn't even know where her growth charts were and pointed towards the top of her bookshelves. She doesn't even weigh or measure children unless you want her to. Emmy is regularly weighed and measured at WIC visits, so it's never been necessary to double-up on the height/weight checks. We talked about vaccinations, multi-vitamins, fluoride, and ear infections all while she observed Emmy talking, reading to herself, playing with toys, and doing what I asked her to do (mostly). She filled me in on some common myths, like: there is vitamin D in breastmilk! Most women are just deficient in it, and are therefore not passing it on to their babies. So now I'm taking Vitamin D which perhaps has something to do with my happier mood the last couple days.

Dr. White checked Emmy for signs of food allergies and digestion issues, and came to the conclusion "Emmy's tall and thin." Amazing! For me, Dr. White put the common sense back in medicine. As she said, "Medicine's not rocket science." I'm sure that her approach might not work for many parents who would prefer more guidance and frequent reassurance that their child is doing okay. But "Responsibility" has always been my middle name, and it's the good part of my neuroses. I appreciate a doctor who trusts me to handle being a parent, and supports my decisions. I grew up in a Montessori world, where if you give folks the opportunity to take charge of their own learning and decision-making, it usually works out.

... The Body of Jackson Pollock

This morning I awoke relatively rested and pleased after a rare and decent night's sleep, meaning that Emmy only woke up twice instead of four or five times. But this peace and satisfaction quickly turned to irritability and impatience as Emmy whined her way through the morning, rarely wanting to be more than 2 feet away from me, and wanting everything that she can't have and nothing that she can. I gave up on much of my intended chores, trying to just be with her as much as possible and give her the attention and love she deserves, but for which I often feel like I unfortunately don't have the time. Enter now the constant feelings of guilt and shame which come with motherhood.

Well, after a time, Emmy was finally content sitting next to each other doing independent activities: I, checking my e-mail and such, and she, coloring on the floor (on a paper on the floor). I was thoroughly enthralled reading the blog of a fellow mom, who writes much more frequent, thoughtful, and touching entries than I do, when all of the sudden!!... Emmy pops up with black permanent marker all over her face and hands. "OH GOD!" I say, freaking her out. Here return the guilt and shame feelings. Where did that marker come from??? I have absolutely no idea. Perhaps the Ghost of Christmas Present gave it to her to teach me a lesson about taking my eyeballs off my toddler. So here's poor little sweet Emmy, all marked up after making a truly inspired drawing:
I get her mostly cleaned up-- who knows when the last remnants will slough off. And then I decide to clean myself up too, figuratively more than literally, and take a shower. I get undressed and Emmy sees something on me which makes her walk briskly out of the bathroom and return with a purple crayon. I then figure out that she sees a kitty scratch on me and thinks that Mommy was doing some body art, and Emmy would like to contribute. I continue on with my breezy shower with the door open (as this is how we do things when one of us is alone with Emmy), and Emmy really wants to hand me a crayon. I try to think of something she'll understand, so I say "Please put the crayon on the potty. Thank you!" Then she lifts the lid of her own little potty and puts that crayon and another one she's found in the meantime into the potty. No biggy because Emmy's potty is just for looking at and not for using at this point, but still-- you don't want your kid thinking that a toilet is a good place to store her belongings. I've still got conditioning and soaping to go, so I try another game: "Emmy, find the triangle!" There are blocks all over the bathroom floor and I figure talking about shapes will get me through the rest of my shower. Emmy scans the floor, then again walks quickly from the bathroom returning with her book with different foam shapes in it. Then Emmy, the smart little thing, pops out the yellow triangle.

One minute she's absolutely maddening, and the next she's sweet and miraculous. And that leads to my true realization from the morning: Emmy's always trying to do her best, and so am I. We just want to please the heck out of each other. I love her to pieces for her efforts, and she loves me to pieces because a bright-eyed 18 month old doesn't know any other thing to do.

... 18 months!

I'm behind on many things. The to-do list gets longer while I work on making it shorter. But this is life, and especially life as a mom. One day soon I'll get back to some good old-fashioned, funny story-telling, but for now, I'll follow Grammy's suggestion, and take the edge off by posting some highlights over the last couple months.

Family! (Ryan, Gramps, Grandma, Gigi, Aunt Mimi, Cousin Evan, Us, Cousin Layna and Oliver)

Emmy and Cousin Ollie

Great Grandpa Dean

Emmy's first pigtails

(She didn't have a nap this day. She didn't mind the piggies.)

Emmy's first ketchup


Christmas card photo shoots are kinda boring...


Luxurious winter wear


Sugar from Gamma Doris


Sliding with Mommy in sunny Tennessee


Stirrin' up somethin' good!


Miss 18 months

Here's what Miss 18 Months is up to:

• Lately, Emmy's been getting multiple molars, so night sleep has been less than ideal, but naps have been glorious. She's extra attached to Mommy and Daddy in this phase, and not such a big fan of hanging out with the other kids at our gym's daycare.
  
• She's saying new words everyday; apple ("ah-oh"), Mommy, Emmy, night night ("nigh nigh") and book are the most frequently used ones recently.
  
• Emmy's taken to bouncing off the walls, literally, the last couple days. Despite the fact that we give her very little sugar and no caffeine, she runs around screaming and giggling. And we stare at her, simultaneously amused and confused.
  
• Emmy's drawings are changing from big circles and spirals to very tiny ones. She's also experimenting with lines. Is she in her "Sticks and Bubbles" period?
• Emmy eats whole apples, and by that I mean non-sliced, non-peeled, whole apples. And no Heimlichs have been needed!
  
• Today we had a dance party in the kitchen, consisting of arm swinging, arm raising, and petite squats. She should be the new gentle aerobics teacher for public television's "Sit and Be Fit."

So there's a little more info than I had planned on. Enjoy, and hopefully I'll be back sooner than later with new tales from the toddler.